She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.