just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
