Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i'm going to rape that little man

(414): View more from Wisconsin

omg not your brother

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(315): View more from New York

Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(252): View more from North Carolina

so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

there's a liquor store near my therapist

(617): View more from Massachusetts

i might give it a shot.

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(916): View more from California

Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash

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(330): View more from Ohio

I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.

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