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• (212): View more from New York

  we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady

  Fav 7 2279 840

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since

  Fav 13 1341 3856

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

  Fav 21 4532 1117

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• (518): View more from New York

  he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.

  Fav 38 2045 8794

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.

  Fav 19 972 5382

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training

  Fav 12 3551 2207

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.

  Fav 4 1813 783

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (903): View more from Texas

  he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.

  Fav 2 777 515

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes

  Fav 1 35 41

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina

  Fav 3 32 65

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!

  Fav 1 33 52

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.

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