As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.