WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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