Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
