is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
