Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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