I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
