the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize