Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
