I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Farmville is her only friend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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