I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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