Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
