The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
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because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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