apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
