she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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