New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize