So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
