Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
