Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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