i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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