His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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