Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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