.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
