Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
