Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
