I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
