Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize