I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
