I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
