im having a threesome with these popsicles
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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