do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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