went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize