do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
