Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
