Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
