doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
