I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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