This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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