i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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