I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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