I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
