Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't deserve a penis
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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