You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
