your room smells of hookers.
And success
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
