i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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