Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
