Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
