Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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