okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We don't watch enough power rangers
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
