Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
