so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
