how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
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bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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