i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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