Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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