i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
