and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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