Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
