Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
