think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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