So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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