Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
