I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
