careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
