Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize