i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize