your thong is hanging out like whoa
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
