I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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