capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
