I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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